Making Peace with your Past

We often wonder, is it ever too late to make peace with your past? Like most people, we go through changes and transitions. Some minor, others major. But when you are working on letting go of a part of your life, you start to reflect on the people, places, situations and incidences that you have experienced.

For example, I have had alot of time to reflect on decisions I have made in my life, especially over the last few years. I have let go of friendships, but never really gave that person an explanation why. I have ended relationships, blaming the other person and not really taking responsibility for my part in it. I have allowed myself to brush off these feelings as if they were nothing. I would rather ignore the feeling of being uncomfortable with conflict than to really make peace with the truth.

There were many times I was on the receiving end of a friend judging me; of being taken of advantage of, and I said nothing. I walked away instead of standing up for myself.

Many times over the last 15 years I silently sat while others judged and made determinations about me that were not true; but I kept silent as to not cause conflict. Where has that gotten me? It has filled me with regret and often times anger at not setting the record straight.

I always took the high road; not wanting to make waves and not really wanting to take the time to argue a point. I just let people believe what they wanted to and that was it. I have always been uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation. I would rather just clam up than to argue my point. Well, at least I used to. I've learned that its 'ok' to have a voice.

At some point in your life, reconciliation comes and you best be ready to answer its call. For me, it was like a ton of bricks being dumped on me. True, I could not change the outcome, but I also needed to accept my responsibility in all of this.

On the flip side, there have been times in the past that I did not know how to be a gracious receiver. I was always used to being the 'giver'. I am more comfortable in that role. These last few years had shown me how to live each day in gratitude.

So, what do I do now?

With it being the end of the year, I have decided to 'right the wrongs' of past friendships and relationships. I am not looking for reconcilation, but I know I need to do this. Perhaps it will help that person have closure too.

For those who have touched my life and I never graciously acknowledged their acts of kindness, I am going to send 'gratitude letters'. I have many to write.

For those who have caused me hurt, either intentionally or accidentally, I will write letters of forgiveness.

As this last post of this year, I invite you to write your own letters. If you can't send them to the person you need to, then at least write them anyway. It will make you feel better and release your soul of old hurts, of unspoken words and help you move toward healing.

I wish you much love, gratitude and joy for the coming year!
Love and Gratitude, Donna

Looking Toward the Future While Making Peace with the Past

Let me ask you this...do you hang onto birthday, anniversary, Christmas cards? Do you hang onto love notes and notes and cards from your kids?

I'm one of those people that do and although some people would say that is taking up more precious space, I prefer to hang onto those memories and mementos. When they asked me why, I just shrugged, not really having a ready answer.

Well, today I have an answer.

As we are preparing to physically move from our home of 14 years, it is mixed with sadness, peace, a bit of uneasiness and even some relief. This move has thrown us into the frenzy of cleaning out, clearing out and letting go of things we no longer need, want or use.

In handling this task, I have become overwhelmed with the memories that seem to crop up at just the sight of a Christmas ornament or a household item. Yes, I am sentimental at heart and no, I will not apologize for it. It's in my DNA. I come from a long line of emotional, sensitive and sentimental women. And, I am proud of that.

But, amidst the clearing out, the weeding out, or whatever you wish to call it, there comes a sense of closure. In my challenge to get things sorted out, I came across birthday cards from my dad that when given to me over the years, touched me. But reading them now, when he is no longer with us, gives me comfort. I read them and find a whole new meaning in the words that I didn't catch before.

The birthday cards from my mom, seeing her distinct handwriting tugs at my heart and makes me miss her even more. The little trinkets she gave me that when given to me, I never gave a second thought because I wasn't 'into' Angels and didn't understand her connection to them. Today, I don't know what I would have done these last several years without Divine Angelic Guidance. I think she knew that someday, I would 'get it'.

Then there are the notes my kids wrote me, the poetry they wrote and of course the apology notes from them for 'acting' up when they were teenagers. And then there is the letter from my daughter, married just 6 months and telling me in a letter that she was pregnant. When I re-read that letter, it made me sad because she thought I would be angry with her because they had not waited longer to start a family. Nothing could have been further from that perception; My joy and elation at welcoming a new life into this world is immeasurable.

Of course the love notes from my husband and the large stack of cards brought smiles, remembrance and joy to my soul. I laughed, I cried and I was reminded of how lucky I am.

Then there was the poetry I had written over the years. I have always dabbled in writing and poetry was no different. I could write a poem on any subject in just a few minutes. As I re-read some of my own writings and musings, I smiled and realized my own self-growth. I then 'heard' my dad reminding me in the way only he could do it with subtlety that I needed to get back to more writing.

I found the eulogy I wrote for my mom and also my dad. As I read them, I sobbed.  I remembered pouring my feelings into those memorials. I remember writing my mom's the day of the funeral at 3AM, because before then, I didn't think I could do it. I knew she was guiding me, because my mom always had faith in me. I just never had enough faith in myself.

Then I found a piece I wrote to my mom, but never had the chance to give her. I was going to give it to her on my 40th birthday. It was a tribute to my mom. When I found it amidst the paperwork I was going through, I hadn't remembered writing it. When I read it, I felt this immense sense of coming full circle. You see, my mom passed away on my 40th birthday and I never got to give it to her and so I didn't remember that I still had it. Until today.

I never got to tell her how special she was to me. I never got to tell her that even though I had alot of responsibility at a young age, and had resented it growing up, I understood it now and that it only made me a more independent woman because of it. Reading my words that I wrote in 2003 brought back a myriad of memories. It was during that tiny moment of clarity, of reading my own words to my mom that I realized that it wasn't too late to read it to her even though she is in the spirit world.

And so I did.

It helped me to let go of some pain I had been holding onto as well as helping me to see that no mother is perfect. Not even me. We make mistakes, we learn from them and we move on.

So if you are holding onto cards, notes, memories, mementos of your life, don't worry about having to explain why you keep them. Because years down the road, when you are cleaning things out, you will come across this treasure trove of memorabilia and you will find the missing pieces your soul has been yearning for as well as to make peace with the past while you move toward the future.

And at the very bottom of the storage tote was a tiny white wispy feather that reminded me that we are never ever truly alone.



With Gratitude, Donna

Dream Big!

When we rely on other people for our happiness, we give away our power. There are people out there whether they be family, friends, acquaintances or co-workers who will be more than happy to take what you are offering only to offer nothing in return. Sometimes these lessons can be painful to learn; but they are necessary for our own soul growth.

If you would indulge me a few minutes, I would like to tell you about my own personal experience.

For those who know me, the past 18 months has been one roller coaster of a ride. I have been through grief, loss, sadness, job loss, financial loss as well as a host of health problems. There were times that I didn't think I could go on and I am ashamed to say that the thought of finding a quick exit was something that popped into my mind more than once.

Through all of this heartache over the past 18 months, I changed. I became more withdrawn, was afraid to leave my safe haven of home, experienced debilitating anxiety and panic attacks as well as losing interest in most things that used to bring me joy. I was becoming agoraphobic, suffering from PTSD and I never thought my life would be normal again. I had this unbearable anger and sadness inside that kept eating at me like a corrosive material. And, as much as I thought I had it 'beaten', in the end, I was powerless.

Some people turn to drugs or alcohol. I did neither. I did something just as badly though. I turned that anger and sadness inward and mentally and emotionally beat myself up until I didn't recognize who I was any longer. From the outside, I looked ok. From those around me, I looked as if I was coping fairly well. But in the dark days and nights of this sadness, devoid of joy, I was alone with this unbearable pain. I had forgotten about the dream. About my promise to God.

Before all of this, I enjoyed my healing practice. I took classes, facilitated classes, mentored people, etc. I felt so good about what I did that I never thought about myself. I never realized that by not giving to myself, I was giving away my power. Sooner or later, when we don't refill our reserve tanks, they run empty. We give and give and give until there is nothing left and then the people we gave too are so used to us giving, that when we no longer can, their true colors show. The neediness, the selfishness and the 'what about me' is all you hear. After awhile, you shut down. The pain is so unbearable that you can't function.

As time went on this past few months, I realized that my body was engergetically holding onto so much. I refused to be a victim of this and sought emotional freedom. Much like how a sponge gets full and soggy when it can no longer absorb; so was my emotional and physical self. I knew I had to seek professional help. I had a great support system with my husband and close friends, but I needed someone who could help me un-learn the behaviors I had grown accustomed to.

I have started to find my voice again. I have found that little voice inside that is screaming for love, but no longer acceptance. I see the light at the end of the tunnel for the things that once brought me so much immense joy. That scared little girl with all this anger and sadness has become more empowered; I realize that I don't need validation or permission in my life. I have broken the cycle of guilt, or feeling that I need to 'fix' people; of being liked. It has taken me 40 years, but I have finally stepped into my power and I am ready to Dream Big. I have learned that I cannot change other peoples opinions of me and that if I don't love who I am, then others will not learn or know how to love me back.

I vigourously look forward to continue regaining the self-love, self-acceptance and the work that God, the Angels and the Universe entrusted to me. I am remembering WHO I am, WHY I am here and WHAT I need to do.

I look forward to the re-awakening of my life's passions and joy as never before! I look forward to re-establishing my healing practice and teaching others through life's examples. Through all of this, I heard a song called "Dream Big" by Katrina Elam and if you listen to the words to that song, it talks about waiting for the gift because its worth the wait. I'm grateful to have had this time to heal my own life and to share this journey with you.

As I sit and write this and truly feel so free for the first time in many months, I am inspired to continue living an empowered, enlightened and inspired life!

My nugget of wisdom for you is this: don't be afraid to be who YOU are; don't be afraid to Dream Big! When we allow FEAR to rule our life, when we allow others opinions and judgement of us to rule us, we give away that power.

Reclaim your power and let your light shine bright!

Dream Big; Your dreams just might come true.
Donna

Your Spiritual Growth and Support

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Most of us at one time or another has sought out spiritual support from a friend, family member, mentor, minister or clergy. As many of us are faced with so many life changes, we are unsure where to turn; who to trust; how much to share or if we will ever really be ok again.

I, myself have sought out advice and consulting from a Spiritual Advisor and in turn have done my own share of Spiritual Advising, Consulting and teaching. We should never be ashamed to ask for help, to seek out alternatives, or to say to someone 'I'm struggling'.

Some great ways to help you through these tough times is to seek out local practitioners, take classes and workshops on spiritual development or any other type of class that will teach you the tools to empower, enlighten, motivate and inspire you.

Its important to feel connected to the practitioner and/or teacher when scheduling a session or taking a class or workshop.

Here are some helpful hints to start or continue your own healing journey:

• Seek out qualified practitioners and/or teachers. Word of mouth is the best way to find those who can help support you on your journey.

• Know that what you will learn, the knowledge you will attain has to be put into action. The practitioner/teacher cannot do the work for you, but once you are given or shown the tools, you can set out on your journey.

• Be your own advocate. Listen to your intuition. If something doesn't feel right or sound right, listen to your 'gut' and go with what you feel. You are your best spiritual advisor.

• Invest in your journey. Most classes and workshops are affordable, and for those that are out of your price range, contact the facilitator if they can do a sliding fee scale or if they have scholarships. I have attended (and facilitated) great classes that only cost $20.00 a class to take.

• You get what you pay for. Be cautious and do your homework. Check the credentials of the person teaching the class.

• When scheduling a session with a practitioner, ask for a phone consultation first. You may be looking for a Reiki session, but the practitioner will be able to help you design a session just for your own healing needs that may incorporate other healing modalities, most of the time for the same price of your session or a few dollars more.

And finally, and this is very important: please support your local practitioners. Many of us do this work that we are called upon to do and when a class or workshop is offered, please consider attending. These practitioners spend time putting together classes, planning, executing and pouring themselves into it.

I remember a time when I kept being asked when I would have classes and workshops. When I scheduled them, most people were either busy or had other reasons. Timing is always an issue with many of us, and it cannot be avoided. But,  we get so busy making a living that we forget to make a life. Take the time to stop, re-charge and give yourself the gift of a workshop, class or even a session with a qualified practitioner.

As life gets tougher for many of us, we need to connect and pull together. There is power in numbers. Let your power shine!

With Gratitude, Donna

Surrender and Release

"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater". ~ Nicholas Evans

In our lives, we work hard, we play hard and at the end of the day, sometimes there are difficult decisons to make. We can be in denial, we can choose to skirt the issue, but sooner or later it pops up and we need to face the reality of the situation.

In my shortsighted way, I had looked at surrendering to mean giving up. I was a born fighter and although I choose my own medium in which to fight my battles, I usually don't go down without a fight. I will fight to the end to right  the wrongs and to defend people close to me.

When I read an article by Cheryl Richardson about Learning to Surrender I started to look at it in a different way. I was holding in my heart and in my life, so tightly, the things I did not want to lose. The evolution of change and its existance is nothing new, and its a part of life.

But, I wasn't ready to go down without a fight. I held onto anger, emotions, sadness, grief and control. And while doing this, I missed out on some joyful moments, moments of clarity and opportunities for growth. So yes, I am ready to surrender to releasing those emotions that have kept me stuck for so long. Will it be easy? Hell no. But, I am on this cusp of change and I need to allow the universe, God, the Divine to guide me. After all, I did ask for help, didn't I?

Part of the surrender and release process for me occured this week. I had worked for many years in a corporate job, leaving last year due to health reasons. I realized upon leaving that the environment I was in, was not a healthy one for me and made a determination that I would never want to work an office job again. For over a year, I have held onto the anger of the situation of leaving that job. I was bitter and angry. I swore I would never sell my soul for a paycheck again.

Admittedly, I can be quite steadfast and stubborn. But, this week, as the reality set in that I need to find full time employment, even if its a temporary position,  I found that the only jobs I qualify for are in accounting and finance because of have 10 years experience in that field. My soul screamed at me for even looking at those types of jobs. It was as if the retina was burning by just seeing those old accoutning terms of accrual and general ledger. I screamed inside....NO..NO..NO!

As I perused the internet for jobs, the common theme kept occuring. Seriously? Was this some cruel trick being played by the universe? I kept in my mind what I held so dear for the last year; I am a licensed massage therapist, I am a holistic practitioner. I can't go back to an office job. I just can't.

Applying for any of them would feel dishonerable to my soul. After all, I made a promise to msyelf that I would no longer work in a corporate job.

I came face to face with this reality this week. I needed to face the reality that my dreams of being a writer, my dreams of owning my own business, of being a life coach, had to come in second to the reality that I needed a full time job that paid decently. I wasn't giving up my dreams. I wasn't giving in to pressure. I was just awakening to the possibility that because I had compared my former employment to every other job out there, I was being unfair. This new revelation did not come easy. It was after some deep soul searching, bouts of crying, bargaining with the universe and lots of praying.

It was then that I remembered Cheryl Richardson's article and revisited it once again. It gave me hope. It gave me closure. It gave me the courage to surrender and release on my own terms.

I still hold my ideas to heart. I will never ever sell my soul for a paycheck. I realized that I am a different person than I was a year ago. My resolve is that I will never ever let another person or company treat me the way I was treated. I have found my voice. I will never be silenced again. I have found my purpose and even though I will more than likely work in an office job for a paycheck, I will never give up my dreams of writing, helping others or doing what I love to do most. I know that both can co-exist together. I realize now that the reailty of having to go back in the work force made me feel unfaithful to my passion of being self-employed and living my passion.

I release and I surrender to what was, to bring in what can be. I am grateful for what was, for what is and for what will be.

May you find your own surrender and release.

With Gratitude, Donna

Transitions + Changes = Inspiration

Many of us go through transitions and changes in our lives. Sometimes those transitions can improve our life and at other times, they can impede our lives. I had been really cognizant about listening to what goes on around me, but I hadn't been listening to the messages my body was sending me. Whether I chose to consciously ignore them or I didn't hear them is debatable.

Back in May, my husband and I visited the Cape for a few days for our anniversary. I knew this 'down time' would be beneficial for me as I had been recoveing from some pulled muscles that were very painful. It took a few weeks, but I felt I was on the mend. The ocean air, the salt water and the time away did wonders not only for my soul, but for my emotional wellbeing as well.

On the very last day of our time there, I awoke that morning at 5 AM and I could feel the guidance being 'downloaded' to me from a higher realm. Call it God, Angels, intuition.....I prefer to call it Divine Guidance. The guidance was coming from many sources that was higher than my own consciousness.

I had been told and shown that unless I start taking better care of my body, mind and soul, I would not be around pass age 50. That is enough to scare anyone. You see, many family members have passed on before the age of 60 in my family, and so I have lived with this time clock for a long time. I had decided a long time ago that I was not going to let my biography dictate my biology. I was not buying into the 'I won't live pass age 60' mentality.

But, that morning, I could sense the seriousness of it all and I actually got out of bed and journaled all the information that was given to me so I wouldn't forget it. For those of you who are not sure what automatic writing is, I will briefly explain. Automatic writing is writing down (or typing) information, guidance, intuition that you are hearing/feeling without allowing your own consciousness into the process. It is as if you close your eyes and the fingers fly across the keyboard as if you have no control over what is being typed or if you are writing it, you have no control over your writing instrument.

When I read what was typed, I was shocked. The details were specific and the information timely. The crux of it all was that things are changing and that I need to take my own healing journey right now before I can help anyone else.

All my life I focused on caring for everyone else, but having to take care of me seemed very foreign. As I mentioned, I was 'out of commission' for several weeks with a muscle injury and I was sidelined. I had to stop, which is difficult for someone like me. When I look back several years, I see that Divine Guidance has stepped in a number of times and kind of 'forces' you to stop if you aren't listening to their guidance. I was 'out of commission' several times over the last few years and it all coincides with life events happening in my life and my inability to focus on healing them.

So, this time the 'warning' scared me. That morning, before we left, when I was down by the waters edge, the information and guidance I received touched my soul. I was hoping that this euphoric feeling would carry me for the rest of my life. I was worried that when I got back to 'life' at home, I would forget the guidance and fall back into old habits. And, that is exactly what happened. It was as if someone turned a switch and it was gone.

I went back to old habits, unhealthy choices and had forgotten my promise to take better care of myself.

On the weekend of June 24th, we were camping and I awoke in the middle of the night in excruciating pain in my left leg. This is the same leg that I had trouble with (and had healed) a month earlier. We ended up coming home early because of the pain. To say I was disappointed, is an understatement. I am still fighting the pain and continuing to pray everyday that I be healed in the most positive way.

With this pain, I am being reminded that I promised spirit that I would change my ways and be more mindful of my physical as well as my emotional health. I have spent the last two weeks praying, bargaining and meditating for this pain to go away so I can feel better.

If you are dealing with a change in your life, some sort of transition; whether you lost your job, your home, a relationship, know that the changes are happening for a reason. If we allow our selves to learn something positive from it, we can move forward. If we stay in the 'victim' mode, we will just kick up alot of unhealthy, unwanted and unnecessary emotions. Learn from our mistakes, the changes, the losses we experience and know in your heart that you need to heal before you move on. Give yourself time to grieve that loss. Then open your arms and embrace the transition that will come. Remain positive; surround yourself with positive people as well as allowing yourself to feel the pain. Don't numb it by replacing it with something or someone that does not give you joy. Allow the pain to be felt and then allow it to heal.

I know that there are transitions coming for me. Some are good, some I am looking forward to and others are needing to happen in order for me to move forward on my own healing journey. I need to face the reality of some painful things in my life and move forward. I cannot help others to heal their lives until I have healed my own. This was a tough lesson for me, and I know that this is going to be a continuous journey.

This past weekend and into this week, I sat with my laptop and started detailing the changes I wanted to make to my life as well as to establishing a presence again in the healing community. I have been away too long from it and my soul is yearning to get back on track again. I know there are many transitions coming for me and many changes. But I am ready to get back to doing what I am passionate about: spiritual and integrative healing, as well as teaching again. I need to find that passion again. I need to allow others into my life to help me with this passion. The hardest thing is asking for help.

There are many exciting things coming up for me and I want to be around pass age 50 to enjoy them. I know that this physical injury is rooted in some emotional way. When I look at the emotional aspect for leg pain, muscle pain, etc, it has to do with ny foundation and security. My world was rocked this last year with financial, emotional and physical challenges. I had been holding on to old patterns and not letting go emotionally. Learning to surrender was a huge lesson for me. Reciting the Serenity Prayer each day was helpful for me and is a practice I continue each day.

I feel optimistic that the transitions and changes that I am going through will only lead me down a path filled with positive choices, amazing possibilities and incredible awareness. This epiphany has given me hope. I feel blessed and grateful for such divine guidance. The hardest thing, is getting out of our own way to let miracles happen. Slowly, and with self-compassion, I am letting go of the need to control every aspect of my life and allowing divine guidance to lead me to the path that is unchartered. I have enough belief to know that only good will come my way.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me....I wish you enlightenment and inspiration as you travel your own journey through change and transition and onto the path of Inspiration.

With Gratitude and Love,
Donna

Is there someone or something in your life from which you draw inspiration? Most of you will say yes, and some of you will sit there for a few moments and ponder this very thought. Sometimes we think we need to wait for that 'Aha' moment before we act or react.
There are many people in my life that inspire me. There are women that I know whose husbands are serving in Iraq or Afghanistan and are keeping things together on the homefront. I honestly don't think I would be able to handle half as much as they do. I applaud them for keeping the 'home fires' burning while their loved ones are half a world away.

When I see the women in the Empowered Women of Wisdom group I host each month, I am in awe of  how much they have handled in their lives and have done it with grace and dignity. Each one has a story and each one has grown in their own way, and each one is still struggling with one thing or another, as we all are. But, when we get together, we inspire eachother to keep on going, to keep on chugging along and we share our experiences and we share our joy, our sorrow, our fears and our laughter. These amazing group of women inspire ME to be a better person. My life would be so empty without them.

When I think of the people who have inspired me in my life, the list is long. There is of course family like my grandparents, my mom and dad and of course some teachers in my life. Even the one teacher I had in typing class (yes, there were no computers when I was in high school) that said I would never amount to anything because I could not type. That one derogatory comment set me on my path to prove her wrong and I did. Many years later, she saw one of my successes and even though she probably did not recall that comment she made to me in haste, I felt satisfaction in knowing that I took that derogatory comment and let it inspire me to cancel out her expectations of me. The list is endless; the guidance counselor who said I should just get married and have kids because I wasn't smart enough to go to college. I let that comment keep me from pursuing secondary education and it was when I returned to school at age 42 that I pushed past those self-limiting beliefs and aspired to do well.

As a young girl and as an adult, my dad was my inspiration. He would tell me that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I put my mind to it. When I was afraid to take chances, he reminded me that if I didn't at least try, I would never know how good it could be. Even though he is in Spirit now, I still hear his words of encouragement and his gentle hand pushing me along when I resist change or taking a chance.

Each time when I aspired to do something, I recalled the words that were spoken to me. I would hear
the nay sayers and then I would hear my dads voice. And that is where my inspiration came from.

I am telling you that YOU are GOOD enough. Within us is the inspiration, the intuition, the empowerment, the enlightenment that each of seeks to be a better person, to live a better life. Yes, the economy is tough, yes there are conspiracy theorists that talk about 2012, and yes there is always going to be something or someone telling you that your idea stinks or that you will fail.

So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let their limiting beliefs about you stop you from living an inspired life? Are you ready to grasp that brass ring and know in your heart that YOU can do it?

Isn't it time you started living an empowered, inspired and enlightened life?

With Gratitude,
Donna

Are you living an inspired life?

Everything we do in life is inspired by one thing or another. Whether its positive or negative, life has the cause and effect flow to it.

When we make conscious choices, we find we make better choices. But where do those choices come from? Those choices come to us intuitively, inspirationally or even sometimes by chance.

Most of us work hard, take care of families, extended families; some are even caregivers to ailing or aging parents. Sometimes we get so busy making a living, that we forget to make a life.

I, like most of  you, traveled down that same path. I was living a life, working full time for a national pharmacy chain, taking care of my family, including my terminally ill dad, and still trying to keep my head above water. It was hard. We sometimes become so autonomous that we forget (either by choice or by default) what is means to really enjoy life and allow inspiration to touch our lives. It seems all my life I had been a caregiver in one form or another. This is a role that I readily took on and have no regrets about.

But, after time, when things settle in your life; people move on or move to the next phase in their journey or pass into the spirit world, we are then faced with the question, 'ok, so what do I do now?'

Last year in 2010, that was my question. My kids had moved out and on with their lives, my beloved dad transitioned to the spirit world and after some health problems of my own, I found myself unemployed and more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. There was no one to take care; no decisions to make; no deadlines; no crisis to solve; nothing.

I knew enough to know that this new phase of the journey had to be about me. But, I had never focused on my own life. I had been the co-pilot for many others, but I had always put my own life on hold. I had dabbled for a few years in different things; took workshops; graduated from a massage therapy program and even started a business. But I found I was losing my passion for the things I enjoyed the most.

This past year found me wandering aimlessly in my life. It was as if I was waiting for a neon sign to direct me where to go. I was good at being a co-pilot, but not good at piloting life by itself. Choices over the last several years were based on kids, family, etc. I was finally left to my own devices and I had no clue what to do with my life.

I have been a follower of Wayner Dyer and many other inspirational authors for many years. I read their books, listened to their programs and at times, saw them in person for an event. I would watch intently, read with optimism and even 'dream' of what it would be like to be as inspirational and optimistic as they were. They made it look simple. If they could do it, why couldn't I?

But they had something I didn't yet have. There lies the crux of the problem. Motivation. I had the inclination; the know how; the time; the passion, but I lacked motivation. It seemed so simple to live an inspired life, but yet it felt like 'work'. I often said that living an inspired life shouldn't take this much effort. But it did. What was I doing wrong?

What I was doing wrong was that I had placed expectations to the outcome of my actions. I felt that if I did this, the universe would give me a high five and grant me the key to the next level in life. I planned and executed, but I still felt 'empty'.

Shame on me. I knew better. This was the first lesson of self-help 101; never place expectations on the outcome. This only leads to self-limiting beliefs and eventually self-sabotage. Two things that I seem to know alot about, quite proficiently I might add.

I knew I needed to change my life. I was not a negative person by any means, but like most people, there is always room for improvement in our lives. I knew I had to make changes and that included looking at the 'ugly' parts of my life that I had shunned for so long.

I felt as if I lead two lives. When I sat with a client, I shined. I knew what I was talking about. I felt passion, confidence, compassion, intuition, insight, inspiration and more. I would light up like a christmas tree when I was doing something I was passionate about.

But, when it came to my own life, it seemed that the light was very dim inside. I am not one of those people who need praise or accolades to feel good about themselves, and those who know me know how uncomfortable that makes me. Helping others has always given me gratification and pride that goes beyond explanation. Its a joy that I feel from my head to my toes when I know I can be a source of support for someone.

The trick was, how do I take that feeling and apply it to my own life? It was challenging, but I did realize that I have been given a gift. The gift of TIME. Those who know me know that I connect to the spiritual parts of life as well as the metaphysical. I am not ashamed to say I talk to my angels, spirit guides and loved ones in spirt. When I started listening more to my intuition and to divine guidance, and stop listening to the ego inside that made me doubt myself, I was able to start sorting through the muck in my life and start understanding what I was here for.

Most of us ask the question, 'why am I here, and what is my purpose'. This is one question I get asked over and over again and one that I ask myself over and over.

And I'm here to tell you that there is not one perfect answer. I define 'purpose' as to what gives you the most joy. What brings you passion and inspiration?

And that leads us to how we can live a more inspired life.

By listening to your soul, by listening to your intuition, by stopping for a few minutes each day and being grateful for what is, instead of what isn't; to be in a place of compassion and peace for just a few minutes each day will help you lean toward living a more inspired life. And the secret is to be as compassionate and loving toward yourself as you are to the people in your lives. We must fill our own cup before we can fill the cup of others.

Most of want to feel this euphoric feeling, to feel unending peace and light ino ur life, and most of strive for this. The sad part is, most of us cannot grasp it because we think of it in physical terms. Its not a material thing; its something that speaks to your soul, something that gives you the utmost joy; its something that isn't tangible, but instead something that you feel with every fiber of your being. It is a feeling that defies description.

So my friends, think about your life and when you do, don't look back and think about what you should have done, could have done or might have done if you had made a different choice. Look instead in front of you, to the road ahead of you and chart that course with excitement, with inspiration, with intuition and with a heavy dose of gratitude.

Because without this combination, you may end up leading a life that is filled with sadness and despair. I want more for you; the universe wants more for you. And I know YOU want more for you.

No matter where you are in life, whether you are wealthy or poor, living pay check to pay check or have a hefty savings, we are all equal when it comes to the basic emotions of life. We all have to make choices, so choose wisely. Choose to make tomorrow the first day of the rest of your life. Don't look back, look forward.

I would like to leave you with this question, 'What would you change about your life if you knew you would not fail?'

Now, go out and start making it happen!

With Gratitude,
Donna